Sunday, January 27, 2013

Power Rankings, Week 2

Another week in, and not much is sorted out.  There are a LOT of teams that are doing pretty well.  But  here's how I sees them, with last week's rank in parentheses:

1.  Chicago Cubs (8).  Josepaco working on a fifth straight season atop of the NL North.  Somewhere, Ferris Bueller is pleasuring himself off to this state of affairs.

2.  Tampa Bay (6).  Last season's champs, proving that pitching and defense can win games.

3.  Florida (12).  Ivan Johnson's win totals are down from past seasons, but his peripherals are as strong as ever.

4.  Kansas City (20).  They had a hell of a week.

5.  Colorado Springs (5).  Beat up on some bad teams, and were only mediocre against the good ones.  Despite the best record in the AL, a terrible sign for the playoffs.

6.  Cincinnati (4).  There are four teams with 24 wins.  Cincinnati is on the top of that heap thanks to pure talent.

7.  Texas (10).  Both AL wildcard teams could come out of the South this season.

8.  Atlanta (7).  I am distressed to see that former Colorado farmhand Chuck Harris is being used only sparingly in Atlanta, but you can't argue with results.

9.  LA Dodgers (1).  LA's beginner's luck runs out, as he learns that this game has a steep learning curve.

10.  Anaheim (16).  The offseason rebuild continues to show results.

11.  Arizona (11).  Harpo Cust isn't a name, it's a description of why a Marx Brothers movie got censored.

12.  Detroit (2).  Oh my, what a terrible week they had.  But a team this talented will, like the Edsel, spring back eventually.

13.  Baltimore (15).  Jrockers, thanks for turning that last minute assignment on Friday.

14.  Milwaukee (14).  The commissioner knows more about women's clothing and beauty supplies than any other man in this league.  Let's leave it at that.

15.  Seattle (18).  With zero advanced scouting since Season 16, these guys have been completely blind to developments in the market.  Sort of like Microsoft.

16.  Mexico City (21).  There is some evidence that, with the soft US economy, millions of Mexican immigrants have returned home.  Sjpratt has responded to this influx by hiking ticket prices.

17.  San Francisco (3).  It looks like the former Little Rock players carried their defeatist attitude with them to SF.

18.  Boston (17).  They've been in the playoffs every season since 14.  I bet by week 8 we see them lined up for another appearance.

19.  Minnesota (19).  Much like a gay porn producer, Minnesota has maxed out his scouting of 18 year old boys.

20.  Dover (9).  You have to get all the way to number 20 to find a team with a losing record.

21.  Washington (23-29).  Washington is the first to break from last week's 23-29 pack.  But will the Senators finally pass a damn budget?

22.  Louisville (31).  Jumping from 31 to 22, Louisville is on pace to be number 4 in 2 weeks.

23.  New York (11).  A bad week for firesign, who needs to bring back the Linda Loo posts.

24.  Philly (23-29).  Wholck is roughly on pace to repeat the identical 72-90 records of seasons 24 and 25.

25.  Pittsburgh (23-29).  Sorry, my kids are all whining that I'm monopolizing the computer, so nothing to say about Pitt.

26.  San Diego (23-29).  Brucehearse is the most earnest player in the game.  At least when he's drunk.

27-29.  Helena/Montreal/St. Louis (23-29, 30).  The French trifecta, all their best players are moving to Belgium.

30.  Toronto (22).  How about them Raptors?

31.  Little Rock (23-29).  Has Robertbaron really logged 3000 HBD games in various worlds since picking up this dirty habit just a couple short years ago?  His children have been effectively orphaned.

32.  Houston (32).  People are running for their lives in Houston.  No really, they've got more than 100 SB only 40 games into the season.  This has got to be some kind of record in the making.  

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